A certain friend is coming into town and as we were making plans the quote "best night ever, watching you hit on those gilbert fire men in the ass cape then buying a red baron pizza" yeah it was fucking rima...
This was one of many famous stories from my history, it is definately up there with ending up in a wheel chair after being a bridesmaid in a wedding but not quite to almost living in a room at co-op where there was a man who shat the bed and set it on fire. Really, I'm not here to waste your time with what is better this story or that one. I don't think there is a ruberic to score these stories anyway.
My point was that I don't beleive that this was all of the story, how did we get there, were there any other witnesses.My guess is we were hanging out with singer and meatwad, I believe it was a wednesday the day it was 1 dollar shots of everything at that place that stank of mesa trash...yes...one of those nights...
I had my bathing suit on though, and Rasheedah may or may not have been there....which means we may have started the night at the tempe spot right around the time we were broken into and someone pissed on our couch.... you know its getting fuzzy...all i know is i must have gone swimming and then decided to dry myself with eric singers brand new addidas jacket. then i decided i was hungry and wraped sed jacket around my ass and walked to 7 11 and got a red baron pizza, there was interaction with the gilbert fire fighters but i dont think i was flirting....
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Match dot Com
As we all know I am a huge fan of the online dating scene...There is something intoxicating about being able to screen people by income level and height....I recently had to end my subscription to J date that started on Valentines Day of last year after a few glasses of wine, a online web special and nostalgic memories of my first and second loves who were both memebers of a band called JewMexico. We also know that I was at one time rejected from e harmony after taking the personality test...( I did eventually pass it after tweaking my answers to a few questions...) Who needs eharmony anyway? That is for people that want a real relationship. Anyway, my most sucess has come from Match dot Com...and by that I mean I have made my money back in free drinks...I was recently faced with ending my subscription to match dot com after my last renewal (which was also on valentines day 2010) however as I was cancelling they offered me half off 6 more months, thats like 12 dollars a month people! I can find a deal anywhere..and 50 dollars for 6 months? I can drink that in one date..Anyway...I also recently re-wrote my profile.....here it is, a glimpse into my heart...
About my life and what I'm looking for-
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the times of Mad Men, where all I would be expected to do was rip cigs, drink wine, wear pretty dresses, do my hair, watch kids run around and make beef wellington. They didn't have hip hop though. I guess chubber checker was like dead prez back then. Damn.
That being said, I am a modern woman of sorts. Right now I work midnights as a glorified bartender to the elderly with health insurance. I like old people they are like babies only they know alot more stuff and sometimes they attack you if they didn't get their haldol. Respect. I only work 3 days a week which is nice, I get random weeks off but if you call me when I am sleeping during the day and I have to go back to work I will throw you overboard..I am starting my masters for my NP in January...arrgh
My profile picture is of me pretending to be a drunken sailor, with a nautical dress/jacket ensemble that i found at an all you can fit in a bag church sale on my way up north...take it for what it's worth
i have the best earring collection this side of the mississippi....if you are asking if i can ride a shwinn cruiser in high heels the answer is yes..i do it often...
I am looking for someone who gets my sense of humor, can make me laugh, and has a job, is over 5'8, doesnt go to church, likes to go out, likes to do both city and country...care free.. and eats ethnic foods, and is okay with me going out w my gays. And understands I am the baby penguin that you have always been looking for... nothing serious until after my triathalon in december though, i plan on seducing a hot cuban after with my elavated endorphins and gringa que habla espanol routine
Or if you are a vampire. Vampires are so in this year.
About my life and what I'm looking for-
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the times of Mad Men, where all I would be expected to do was rip cigs, drink wine, wear pretty dresses, do my hair, watch kids run around and make beef wellington. They didn't have hip hop though. I guess chubber checker was like dead prez back then. Damn.
That being said, I am a modern woman of sorts. Right now I work midnights as a glorified bartender to the elderly with health insurance. I like old people they are like babies only they know alot more stuff and sometimes they attack you if they didn't get their haldol. Respect. I only work 3 days a week which is nice, I get random weeks off but if you call me when I am sleeping during the day and I have to go back to work I will throw you overboard..I am starting my masters for my NP in January...arrgh
My profile picture is of me pretending to be a drunken sailor, with a nautical dress/jacket ensemble that i found at an all you can fit in a bag church sale on my way up north...take it for what it's worth
i have the best earring collection this side of the mississippi....if you are asking if i can ride a shwinn cruiser in high heels the answer is yes..i do it often...
I am looking for someone who gets my sense of humor, can make me laugh, and has a job, is over 5'8, doesnt go to church, likes to go out, likes to do both city and country...care free.. and eats ethnic foods, and is okay with me going out w my gays. And understands I am the baby penguin that you have always been looking for... nothing serious until after my triathalon in december though, i plan on seducing a hot cuban after with my elavated endorphins and gringa que habla espanol routine
Or if you are a vampire. Vampires are so in this year.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Matt Brown comes to "Detroit" Part 1
First of all I would like to preface this by saying I don't think we were actually in the city of Detroit at any point in time except for a brief moment on 8 mile on the way to and from the airport. I had all these plans to show the hidden gems of Detroit but it turned into I showed Matt Brown, Trader Joes, Coors Light and my couch. First stop...Trader Joes.
We bought tons of wine and I bought an orchid. I have always wanted one, hope it doesn't die. Matt complimented me on my manicure, dang I gave myself a cosmic colored manni/peddi while on ambien...I also think I ate out the garbage but thats just a theory. Moving on!
So we drank wine and talked random shiz, went off to emory to look at my bartender that is the only thing that reminds me I have a vagina...I hate it when he talks..don't talk, just get me my chenin blanc and shut the fuck up. Natalie and LB show up, don't remember much after that.
Jump to morning...
LB made us a steak fritata and we started to sober up. LB and Natalie had to go make good with Natalies sisters(Brandy) group home people so Nat could bust her out for the upcoming eminem concert. LB and Brandy had a special connection based both on her self made single "It's my clonipin" and their mutual love for Tony Braxtons "you're makin me high". So they were off, one stop at Sunoco for some Newports and Mountain Dew annd they were grouphome bound.
Still unable to function I sat on my chair and watched 7 episodes of Veronica Mars on my netflix on demand while Matt watched Rachel Zoe project and napped.
At this point Matt and I decided to unravel the events of last night, and drink wine. UNKNOWN! We did however find some unrevealing bar pics and a unfrozen veggie burger in the toaster oven...I knew I was missing a kaiser roll...
Next up, rippin sushi, Jackie Fuckin Barnes, and an International visitor...
We bought tons of wine and I bought an orchid. I have always wanted one, hope it doesn't die. Matt complimented me on my manicure, dang I gave myself a cosmic colored manni/peddi while on ambien...I also think I ate out the garbage but thats just a theory. Moving on!
So we drank wine and talked random shiz, went off to emory to look at my bartender that is the only thing that reminds me I have a vagina...I hate it when he talks..don't talk, just get me my chenin blanc and shut the fuck up. Natalie and LB show up, don't remember much after that.
Jump to morning...
LB made us a steak fritata and we started to sober up. LB and Natalie had to go make good with Natalies sisters(Brandy) group home people so Nat could bust her out for the upcoming eminem concert. LB and Brandy had a special connection based both on her self made single "It's my clonipin" and their mutual love for Tony Braxtons "you're makin me high". So they were off, one stop at Sunoco for some Newports and Mountain Dew annd they were grouphome bound.
 |
| God I miss Phoenix |
At this point Matt and I decided to unravel the events of last night, and drink wine. UNKNOWN! We did however find some unrevealing bar pics and a unfrozen veggie burger in the toaster oven...I knew I was missing a kaiser roll...
 |
| So we did go to the bar.. |
Next up, rippin sushi, Jackie Fuckin Barnes, and an International visitor...
Its 9:30 p.m. I just woke up
Do you like my background? It reminds me of my 30 dollar shower curtain that will blow your mind. So I decided to start a blog but I don't really know what to write about, food? Nope, wing ding night at Beaumont Cafeteria is a regular favorite of mine. Clothes? Nope, can't fit in them thanks to wing ding night and morning booze sessions. Love? Nope, most action I have seen there is thinking my isolation patient wasn't that bad looking minus the bed sores the other night. Pets? Nope, don't have one, turns out my shizophrenic brother takes better care of a cat than me. I'm sure i'll be a great mom. Night Life? Nope, Meijer already has a website. Rippin cigs? quit, running out of options...I think I will just write about random shit.
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